I had one of those moments yesterday, when I realised what it was that was causing me to feel a little anxious and unsettled about giving up work. Obviously, I will miss the people I work with (well, some of them..!) and the intellectual, commercial, contractual and logistical challenges that arise more regularly than you would think possible in the boring old world of corporate IT outsourcing, but I now know the one thing that will really leave a hole.
Being in demand.
Yesterday, I got a request to join one of our senior consultants for a day's workshop up in Edinburgh with a prospective client. As the day in question was the day before my retirement, I very politely declined and, in a very professional manner, found someone who could do the gig in my place. However, what struck me was the fact that I got a small (but noticeable) buzz out of the fact that I was being asked to attend purely because of my knowledge and experience. It may come across as being rather egotistical (those who know me well may be entirely used to this!) but it's the "we want you to help us because you're good at this" that I think I will miss way more than I thought. It's taken me a long time to get to "elder statesman" status and that's a big thing to relinquish.
So - the task ahead is to find something else (other than the boring old world of corporate IT outsourcing) that I can be really good at.......
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